Terrapsychology Anthology Available...And I'm In It!

 

For a really long time I'd had the goal to have a book published that includes both my words and my images. I'm so happy to say that with the publication of the terrapsychology anthology Rebearths: Conversations with a World Ensouled my dream has come true!

My photograph graces the cover of the anthology, which includes the writing of many different scholars who look at the world through the lens of terrapsychology, the study of the interaction between the psyche of the planet/the land/place and the human psyche.

In addition, my paper Embodying the Power of the Storm is one of the chapters included in the book. I feel honored and privileged to be part of this excellent group of writers (some of them were my classmates at JFK!). Accompanying my chapter are a few more of my photographs.

I am grateful to Craig Chalquist, who edited this work, and who first introduced me to terrapsychololgy in his Planetary Psychology class at JFK University. Finding out about this field of study lit a fire under me that has yet to burn out.

Head on over to Amazon and get your copy! You won't be disappointed. It's also available on Kindle.

Post-Conference Reflections

Experiment with Lensbaby...see more at my Flickr

I've been back for nearly two weeks, and I am in awe of how the dream conference shifted my consciousness. I had an inkling before I left that something major would happen in Chicago, but I tried not to think about it while I was there lest I find significance in irrelevant things like how the waiter folded my napkin on the third night. I believe looking for synchronicity is a fine art, one that takes discrimination (although, I suppose one could argue there is significance in everything!).

The more I think about what message the conference brought to me, the more I see two clear themes emerge: I need to make my health my priority, and I need to stop hiding myself and my talents.

About my health: I had one of the most challenging weekends I've had in a long time this past weekend, experiencing pain that had me in bed for two days. I have avoided Western doctors for four years and yesterday, on the recommendation of a friend, I finally sat down and made the call. I have an appointment tomorrow. I'm a bit scared and I am trying not to let my past experiences color what I have in store for me. My hope is that I will get questions answered and that there is help for me that doesn't just include taking medications or getting surgery. I want to get to the core of the problem and take measures to truly heal it and prevent it from returning.

Making that phone call felt monumental. It tells me I am finally ready to take care of myself, that I am finally ready to listen to the signals my body and my dreams send me regularly. I tend to punish my body and I've started to wonder where I think that will get me. It deserves my respect and attention.

About sharing my talents: This is a recurring theme for me. I tend to make myself small, something I learned growing up. But all the messages in the last two weeks have been to ignore that urge and to instead be BIG. To bravely put myself and my talents out there. And to stop apologizing for who I am, hiding who I am, and feeling I am not good enough. I am good enough. People do want to hear what I have to say, and they want to see what I create.

As a result of this revelation, I am even more firm about my conviction to send some of my children's manuscripts back out to publishers. In a month I'll receive the brand new edition of the Children's Writers and Illustrator's Market and right now I'm polishing three manuscripts so they'll be ready to send when the Market arrives in the mail. Look how far I've come. Four years ago, I dissolved my contracts with my old publisher and I began a downward spiral, believing my career as an author was caput. This rebirth feels scary and painful and absolutely wonderful.

Find Yourself and Then Be Yourself

Over the holiday break, I had time to take a long look at my life. The holiday art show season completely wiped me out. Last quarter I had no time for myself, little time for seeing friends, and I had to cram school work into every second I had left after working at the shows and my part-time job. I was stressed out and miserable. And confused.

I mean, wasn't getting into art shows supposed to be a fabulous thing? Wasn't that what I was striving for?

It might have been what I was striving for in September when I started signing up for all those fairs. And it still might have been what I was striving for in October when I had my first taste of doing a fair and kind of liked it because I saw that I could make money doing them. But by the end of the season, I was completely dead. I didn't even make it to my last show, and that was a hard decision to make. I started to feel that all-to-familiar feeling of failure creeping in. But I also saw how much I had run myself into the ground and I knew I needed a break.

So I took time to really think about what I wanted in my life and where I want to go with my artwork. And the answer was surprising...and completely obvious.

I want to be a writer, a photographer, and a mixed-media artist. I want to create books that combine these three things. I want to inspire, to show others the beauty and wisdom I find in nature. I want to do all of this in the most authentic, "me" way possible. And I want to start now.

None of that has anything to do with going to art fairs or trying to get more sales on Etsy. It really has nothing to do with making money or "turning my art into a viable business" or getting retail sales. The bottom line is, this is not about money. It's about making a difference, bringing an important message to the world, and being my authentic self without holding back.

So, I'm doing it. I'm jumping into this adventure with both feet. And I've made what for me is a terribly difficult but exciting decision, and it has several parts:

1. I am not going to do more than two fairs this year, and maybe none. (gulp)

2. I am going to write more on this blog in order to exercise my writing muscle, because

3. I am going to start writing a book.

Yes, you read right. I'm getting back into the writing world. Even though I have a lot of trauma related to the children's book I published, I am going to get back on that horse. And I am going to ride that horse into a glorious sunset with fairies and birds flying around me and sparkles and rainbows. Oh yes.

This decision makes my Should, that unbearable task-master side of myself, squirm in desperation. She can see she's losing the battle this time. I can no longer listen to her demands, because the demands of my soul are so much louder now. And I know I have the strength now to listen to my soul.

So, all of this means I am going to spend more time meditating, walking and sitting in nature, painting, and writing than prepping for art shows and updating my Etsy shop and trying to market myself. I never liked any of that anyway. It feels good to declare that!

I hope you will all come along for the ride. It's going to be a magical adventure.