The Daimon

About a year ago I read James Hillman's The Soul's Code. In it, he writes about the daimon, which is a bit like a muse that stays with us throughout our life and encourages us to follow our bliss, to act on our passions. He likens it to an acorn, which needs water, light, protective soil, and loving care to sprout into a tree.

This weekend my daimon celebrated because I had an experience that reminded me just what it is I want to do in this world.

I am in a class called Consciousness & Sustainability and on Sunday our class met in a 1-acre garden in San Anselmo. I was surrounded by lizards, crows, jasmine, borage, calendula, butterflies, hummingbirds, and plot after plot of new vegetable plants. The garden is tended mainly by volunteers, and it is part of an amazing school that is 90 percent powered by the sun through a bank of solar panels. The garden feeds the students. It teaches them about nature. And it provides a sanctuary for those who want direct communion with nature's cycles.

We spent the entire day in nature. All day I breathed fresh air, felt the warm sun on my back and a cool breeze on my cheek, and interacted with silent spiders and boisterous chickens. In other words, I was in heaven.

The running commentary in my head went something like this: "I love this! This is so cool! I want to do this all the time! I can't wait to come back next week! I want to teach outside all day! I would love to teach a class in a garden!"

Even though it had been a long day and the drive was tiring, when I came home I was full of energy. I got out the reading for next week and devoured it. I want to learn all I can about permaculture and the cycles of nature and how I can bring this information to others.

And at the end of the evening, I sat down with a pad and pen and wrote down all the things I want to do when I graduate: teach, write, create art, take photographs, practice psychic work, and work with nature, ancestry, and dreams. I created a web connecting all of these pieces together, trying to come up with a cohesive answer. It was difficult because there are so many options: I could teach nature writing. I could write about psychic dreams. I could create art about ancestry and the land. The wonderful thing is, I could do all of these things because they are all connected.

While I am no clearer about what specific job I want to do when I graduate, I am crystal clear that nature and teaching absolutely must be included. And when I write that, my daimon does a little jig, happy that I am listening and helping my gift grow from an acorn into a mighty oak.

Love the Earth Today...And Every Day

It's Earth Day. The day when many of us stop what we are doing and take a moment to appreciate our amazing planet. Some will even take time out to clean up a beach or do a ritual. I'm glad Earth Day was created so that we have a collective way to embrace our home and show it love.

But I am a firm believer in the "every day is Earth Day" mantra. We should show the same reverence for her on October 5 as we do on April 22.

Look around. What do you see outside? An oak tree? A patch of grass? Tulips pushing up through the ground? Cacti among rocks? A river? The ocean? Say hello to it. Thank it. Ask it if it needs anything, has anything to say. You may be surprised what happens.

I'll leave you with this quote by Starhawk, someone I admire greatly:

"We speak of 'healing the earth,' but in reality, what needs healing is our human relationship to the earth."

Questions

Why don't we teach our children from a young age that they, as Carl Sagan put it, are stardust? Why don't we tell them the iron in their blood and the calcium in their bones are the same elements that make up the stars and the ground upon which they walk? Why don't we help them make these connections instead of teaching them about geology and biology and astronomy separately?

Why do we so desperately want to keep everything separate? Different neighborhoods don't mix. Different school groups don't mix (before I worked at the library, I did not know anyone outside my own department at the college I attend). Children and elders don't mix. Thirty-somethings and teenagers don't mix. But these relationships should be fostered. I believe they are imperative.

And it's not just relationships between people I'm talking about. Many people do not establish a relationship with animals. Or plants. Or the sun. Or water. They believe they are separate, when in truth, they are not.

What would be so bad about mixing? What would be so bad about spreading the word that we are all one? We are made of the same elements and we live on the same planet. And when I say we, I mean the rocks, the ocean, the conifers, the hummingbirds, the spiders, the daisies, every single thing on Earth.

We are the same. And, yes, we are all different as well. We have individual characteristics that make us as interesting and diverse as the snowflakes in a blizzard. That is the beautiful paradox. It is our sameness and our differences that make this world an amazing place. We are all alike but different. We are parts of the same whole. We are all connected and separate.

Why don't we teach this?

Moving Music Movies

Recently I watched two documentaries that deeply moved me.

One, Young@Heart, chronicles the Young@Heart Chorus, an internationally-touring group of men and women ages 70 and up that performs rock and roll songs (think Hendrix, Sonic Youth, and Talking Heads). I had a huge grin on my face for most of the movie (and there were tears, too, because it so moved me).

These people will capture your heart. One man with congestive heart failure comes back to sing with the group after a long absence, and I kept thinking that if he can sing with fluid in his lungs then what the hell am I doing not singing? It really inspired me.

Watch the trailer here and find out more about the chorus at their website.

The other documentary was, for me, highly anticipated. Girls Rock follows attendees of Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls in Portland, OR, a magical place where Carrie Brownstein of Sleater-Kinney and Beth Ditto of the Gossip are camp counselors and girls come together for a week in the summer to learn an instrument, form a band, and perform a song. ROCK!

What I just learned while researching this post is that they run a Ladies Rock Camp too! I am very seriously considering going to the October session. Women 19 and up come together for a weekend, form a band, and write and perform a song. So. Rad. Ladies Rock Camp raises money to keep the girls' camp going.

Watch the trailer here, find out more about the movie here, and learn more about the camp here.

Lilacs!

I knew I wanted to photograph the lilacs blooming around the corner from my house, but it wasn't until my friend asked me to photograph lilacs for her birthday (happy birthday Lori!) that I actually got off my butt and went around the corner to do it.

I'm so glad I did. First of all, lilacs are my favorite flowers! Can you believe I would put off photographing my favorite flowers? The creative mind works in mysterious ways. Second, they were in prime bloom and they smelled amazing. It was a fabulous 20 minutes of happiness.

If you love lilacs as much as me, make sure to visit my Etsy shop...there are five different lilac photos waiting just for you.

There are several books and websites tickling my fancy right now and I want to share them with you.

Books
The Conscious Universe: The Scientific Truth of Psychic Phenomena by Dean Radin. I read this for a paper I wrote about psi and I was thrilled at the information it contains. I wish more people would read Radin's book(s). Compelling and extensive evidence exists that demonstrates psi is real, and Radin lays it out with wit and expertise.

The Earth Path: Grounding Your Spirit in the Rhythms of Nature by Starhawk. An endlessly fascinating and informative book that includes exercises anyone can practice to get closer to nature. It has fueled in me an interest in permaculture (and, lucky me, that's what my next class is about!).

Websites
Shutter Sisters: started by a few fabulously talented female photographers, this site has grown into a community of soulful women who appreciate photography and write from the heart.

Synchronicity: a fun and fascinating blog run by a husband and wife team who are collecting stories of synchronicity that will eventually comprise a book. My ladybug post will soon appear there.

Honoring the Dream

A wonderful way to deepen your connection to your dreams is to bring their energy into the physical world. To do this you could share a dream with a trusted friend, or paint, sing, draw, or act out a dream. Many times these activities foster insight into dreams and they always help create a space for dreams in your life. Honoring dreams in these ways shows you respect your dreams and are willing to listen to their messages.

One caveat: some cultures believe that speaking a dream dissipates its energy. Judge for yourself whether or not to share a dream based on how you feel about it. Of course, I encourage you to paint, draw, sing, or dance the dream in private if it is not one you wish to share publicly.

I have worked with my dreams in this way several times and I always get juicy results. My most memorable exercise involved Owl, my spirit guide. Owl first arrived in my life last July. She came in a dream disguised as a hawk with a cat's head. To honor this dream, I shared it with a class of dreamers and then wrote a paper about it (this is the paper I will present at the IASD conference; you can read it at the link above).

I worked with Owl's energy for a number of weeks after I had the dream, which led to synchronicities and further dreams featuring Owl. During this time, I read about owl behavior, myths involving owls, and goddesses connected with the owl. I also asked Owl for further dreams and she brought them to me. Through this work, I unearthed my creativity and found new strength within myself.

After the summer class ended, my intense interaction with Owl calmed down. But once I started another dream class, she came back strongly. I encountered her as a snowy owl in a shamanic journey and a dream. This time, to honor her, I created two art pieces. One was a nest made of sticks from local trees, moss, and lichen. The other was a cape sewn and beaded to look like a snowy owl's feathers. The cape allowed me to overcome fears about sewing (I broke out my sewing machine and taught myself how to thread it) and it taught me patience, for beading the cape was a painstaking and slow process.

When I donned the cape at the end of the class and held the nest in my arms, I felt transformed. I was imbued with the energy of Owl: her grace, wisdom, stealth, and cunning. This is what it means to bring the dream into waking life.

My story does not end here, however. In January Owl visited me again in a dream, this time after I had asked my ancestors for a dream. She came in the form of a great gray owl, which I later learned lives in Minnesota and Sweden, my ancestral homelands. This dream had an immense impact on me, and I knew I wanted to bring its energy into waking life.

First, I researched the great gray owl. Then, synchronistically, I ended up on the website for the Lindsay Wildlife Museum, a local wildlife hospital and museum. It turns out they are caring for a beautiful great gray owl from Minnesota. One of the programs at the Lindsay is wildlife adoption, so I immediately sent in a donation to adopt the great gray owl. I now have a picture of the owl on my altar and in May I will be able to visit the bird at the museum. It felt wonderful to honor Owl in this way.

After looking back on all the amazing ways Owl appeared in my life, I decided in February to create another art piece tying it all together. Making this piece was thrilling and it now has an honored spot at the top of my altar. It ties together the "cathawk," snowy owl, and great gray owl dreams as well as my ancestral homelands and my connection to oak trees.

These interactions with Owl changed my life and I know that my commitment to bringing my dreams into waking life enhanced them. Owl is now a constant companion and I call on her energy when I need strength. This is the power of honoring the dream.

Leap...You Already Know How to Fly

I created this collage back in September, and somehow along the way I forgot its message. That's me in the picture standing at the edge of the cliff, looking out into the open possibility. Maybe if I had real blue fairy wings attached to my back I would not be so nervous about leaping.

I'm at a point in my life where part of me feels ready to let go. I want to shed old ideas, old messages I replay in my head that are lies. I want to fully embrace the new me, to embody her and feel comfortable with her. Right now I'm stuck in that painful, confusing middle space between the old me and the new me and I am here because part of me fears letting go. What if my wings don't work when I step over the edge?

But the thing is, they will work. And I will soar. And so, very soon, I'll take a deep breath...and jump.