Experience of Oneness

Last weekend I finally made it out to my favorite local park, Diablo Foothills Regional Park. I had not been on a hike since the surgery, and the last time I'd visited this park I was in so much pain I could only make it half the distance I normally walked. I looked forward to being able to hike my usual distance and to visit the landscapes I hold dearly in my heart.

I brought my camera and I walked slowly, taking it all in. The late-afternoon sunlight highlighted the grass, creating fields of golden wands waving in the wind. Breezes tickled the trees, making the leaves dance. I heard woodpeckers and hummingbirds chattering and the laughter of children. I could not have dreamed of a better day to re-enter the woods.

When I bring my camera into nature, I enter what some call "the zone." I effectively enter a trance, an altered state, and my eyes shift into creative mode: the tiniest change in light attracts me to a particular branch, the way a shadow falls on a rock makes my heart skip a beat. I feel like I cannot move fast enough to record all the beauty before me. But this excites me and I no longer sense time. When I left the park I was astonished that two hours had passed. It felt so much shorter to me.

After climbing the hill to visit my favorite trees, I turned around and started back. After a few moments of walking down the trail, an amazing sensation overcame me. I could no longer feel the difference between my skin and the air. My body felt like it had expanded to become the entire forest. I stopped, relishing the feeling. I breathed and the forest breathed and we were one. I had no boundaries. I was the forest and the forest was me. This experience of oneness lasted for the briefest moment, but it was one of the most profound moments of my life. I believe all is one, but this was a firsthand, visceral experience of that. It showed me the truth behind this universal concept, and reminded me that one cannot truly grasp an idea until one has experienced it in the body.

When the moment passed, a huge grin spread on my face. I took a deep breath, grateful for my health, my body, my life. I skipped down the trail with a little more bounce in my step. And I felt my connection to that land grow deeper and stronger. I hope never to forget how I felt in that moment.

Thoughts on Beauty

Do you ever feel your heart surge because something is so beautiful you don't know if your heart is big enough to hold it? Today while driving home I saw big, billowy clouds that were the most amazing shades of white hovering over the green hills to the east. The breathtaking blue sky provided a backdrop and the sunlight painted the clouds with light. The scene struck me to my core and I am surprised I didn't hold up traffic with my staring. I wanted to linger, to really take in the majesty I was witnessing. But, like everything else, the moment was fleeting and now I just have to content myself with its memory.

Into the Darkness

On Sunday, I set off on a new adventure: a night hike through the redwood forest. I have always enjoyed hikes that end at dusk when the animals begin to venture out of the dense woods to forage. And so, I thought, why not do a hike that starts at dusk and ends in the moonlight?

We chose a night that had an almost-full moon (tonight it's full) and a spot that is far from roads and city noise: Redwood Regional Park in Oakland. As we set out, we saw a family of five deer. Not long after, I saw two rabbits munching on grass. And then, the owls started to sing. I absolutely love owls, and to hear them calling all through the hike was more magical than I could have imagined.

One of us commented that it felt like the forest was protecting us, looking out for us. I felt the same way. I can be a bit of a fraidy cat in the dark. I struggle when I can't see where I'm walking. But on this hike my anxiety, for the most part, took a vacation.

Although I knew it would be enchanting to walk through the forest at night, I did not anticipate the stillness and calm of the forest, the beauty of moonlight on the trunk of a towering tree, the silvery and slightly eerie way moonlight casts shadows. Standing in an open area of the forest, listening to the owls and seeing the moon and stars directly above...now that is what makes life beautiful.