Struggling

I'm struggling. Slowing wading through muck. Kind of like Atreyu and Artax in the Swamp of Sadness.

I'm going through a major life transition that is so much bigger than graduating. There is much loss in my life and I'm having a hard time coping. I may appear to have it all together on the outside, but on the inside it's all collapsing.

On my better days I can see that this is all for the best. I've been told by mentors and intuitives that this is what my soul yearned for. And I've gotten dream and active imagination messages that tell me the reason this change came in such a chaotic way was because I've been repressing my true feelings for so long. Sometimes, things just have to burst open and be dismembered so the new life can begin. I know this to be true, but the pain is hard to bear.

My dreams involve phoenixes and eagles. They feature massive trees growing up through buildings and breaking through the roofs. Shadow figures have been pushing their way inside my house. I can't hide from this anymore.

And now is the time to walk my talk. This too is difficult. I just want to hide, numb out, run away. But I can't. I have to keep pushing forward like Atreyu does after Artax dies, overcome with sadness. I can be brave, I can be strong, I can push through these obstacles, face the Gmork, and stand in my truth to create a whole new world.