Being Held

Nature never gives up on us. ~ Mark Coleman

Last weekend I got out to enjoy the 70+ degree weather that graced Northern California. I reflected on how a year ago I was cooped up inside recovering from a second surgery to remove a cyst from my ovary. I felt immensely grateful to have gone a year without needing a third surgery and I gave thanks to my body for its hard work healing itself. I relished the ability to climb steep green hills and feel the warm wind on my face.

I reached a high point and looked out at the vista. Two falcons soared on thermals. Mt. Diablo peeked out behind the hills straight ahead of me and the undulating valley rolled out before me. I felt incredibly alive.

Skipping down the trail I started to feel the urge to be with a tree. Not any tree would do...I kept walking until I felt drawn to an oak standing right at the side of the trail. I put my arms around its trunk which was slightly further around than my arms would reach. I stood there, hugging that oak for a long time, feeling its deeply grounded and steady energy between my arms. I started to cry, letting the oak and the earth take my pain. Relief washed over me as I allowed my emotions to flow. After a few moments I kissed the tree's rough bark, wiped the tears from my cheeks, and continued down the path.

Although at times during the last year it's felt like I've been given up on, I knew in that moment that Mark Coleman's words are true: nature never gives up on us. She is always there and she is not going anywhere. She is the most stable thing in my life even with her changing moods and despite the way we've altered her. That tree might not always be standing, and an earthquake could open up the land that holds its roots, changing how the land looks, but Nature will always be there. I take immense comfort in that.