With the equinox on Monday, I've been thinking a lot about balance. How to balance work, art, school, time online, and time for me. It always makes me think of those performers who twirl a bunch of plates on sticks at one time. Keeping all of the parts of me going at once can be a beautiful art...or it can be a disaster.
At the moment, I am falling a bit more on the disaster side.
I have this incredible striving/perfectionism in me that keeps me working on a project so long that I become unproductive because I'm so damn tired. Yet, I want to tweak this and that and type just one more sentence or format just one more picture before I finish.
Or, I sit down to paint and collage, and before I know it my whole afternoon has flown by and I didn't pay the bills or take the car in for an oil change. (It's easy to let those mundane tasks fall by the wayside.)
It is a life-long practice, I think, to work toward balance. To give myself time to just do nothing and truly unwind (which is hard for me), to practice my art, to meditate, to network and create community, to see friends, to go to work, to be in nature, and to get things done around the house...whew! It's overwhelming just typing it all.
I realize I'm probably trying too hard. Striving too much. If I can just let go and let it all unfold as it wants to, it would all flow smoothly. Maybe I won't pay the bills just yet, or scrub the bathtub, or put away the pile of books on the floor. Maybe I can just allow it all to be. And allow that to be okay.